10 thoughts on “Christmas Poem Contest

  1. Warm lights glowing still
    Pinecone odors fill the air
    Christ or Santa’s here

    Here to guide us through
    Another night full of prayer
    It’s always Christmas somewhere

    Be Bob a lu la
    and jingle bells rock the room
    Down comes the tree sudden boom

  2. Have you ever wondered how Krampus could know
    How bad you are every year and the sins you’ve sewn?
    For centuries, Krampus’ secrets have been whispered in legend.
    And they’re far worse than you’ve ever imagined.
    And I’ll tell you them now, but if you tell
    Krampus will come and drag you to Hell.

    At holiday time, your sins send me to you.
    I watch and report on all that you do.
    My job’s an assignment from Krampus himself.
    I am his helper, a demon elf.

    Upon my arrival to your office I’ll bring
    An ornament from Krampus, the Christmas Demon King.
    You must then mark me, give me a name.
    Like Bezaliel, Pazuzu, Baphomet, or Satan.
    Just don’t name me something stupid like Clayton.

    Though I may look cute and demure,
    I’ll cover your entire house in manure.
    Each night while you’re sleeping, to Krampus I’ll fly
    To the South Pole through the dark sky.
    Of course, Krampus magic helps me to be quick.
    I laugh with the demons and tell Krampus when you’re a dick.

    I’ll tell him you’ve been bad, I’ll tell him you’re rude.
    This news will make Krampus gobble you up like food.
    I’ll push and shove to find my way back.
    When I tell Krampus the news, he’ll stuff you in his sack.

    In the car, in the park, or even at school
    Krampus will know if you act a fool.

    But don’t try to look for me; I won’t be there.
    I’ll be under your bed, with your hairbrush, gathering your hair.
    A voodoo doll – I’ll make very quick.
    I’ll send it to Krampus so he knows who to make sick.

    I’ll show up at random; you don’t know what I’ll do.
    Maybe I’ll bring gifts, or maybe just poo.
    I’ll be lurking in doorways, in bathrooms, in shades.
    Maybe I’ll cut you with razor blades.
    You’ll never know where I’ll be.
    Once I’m summoned, you’ll never be free.

    There is one rule you must follow
    Or I’ll come back and stab you tomorrow.
    Please DO NOT TOUCH ME. IF YOU DO…
    Well, you DON’T WANT TO KNOW…

    I cannot speak to you, so says Krampus Claws.
    All in Heaven, Hell, and Earth, must bow to his laws.

    When you are evil, Krampus will punish you.
    But to be safe from the levels of hell in store, here’s what to do:
    Burn your tree, throw away your stockings.
    If you don’t, prepare for floggings.

    Next, write a note to Saint Nick himself.
    Tell him you’ve been visited by the Demon Elf on the Shelf.
    Write “I request no presents, only coal.”
    DO THIS NOW OR LOSE YOUR SOUL.

    If you follow my instructions, don’t despair.
    Your life – Krampus will spare.
    But, don’t be fooled and don’t get too relaxed.
    For Krampus comes every year – these are the facts.

    The night before Krampusmas, my job’s at an end.
    Now Krampus comes, be warned my friend.
    Do as I have said or you’ll never tell
    About another Christmas because you’ll be burning in Hell.

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