The Three Psychology Students

by Andri MH

Once upon a time there were three psychologists on their way to the study hall to fatten themselves on knowledge and cheap food in the mess hall, and the name of all three was “Sam”.

To get to the university they all had to cross a bridge, under which lived a great hideous troll with horrid yellow eyes and sharp tusks.

First came Sam the First Year Psychology Student, walking over the bridge in her dirty sneakers, unsure in her gait, contemplating her first year textbook.

“Trip, trap, trip, trap,” went the bridge.

“Who is that trip and traps over my bridge?” roared the troll.

“Oh, excuse me sir, it is only I, Sam the First Year Psychology Student, I was just going to study hall to study a little bit,” said the psychology student unsure and small voiced.

“Now, I’m gonna gobble you up, feet and face,” said the troll.

“Oh please no, don’t take me, I’m so little, I’ve yet to learn of Freud, and Locke, and Watson, and Chomsky, and Pavlov! Wait till the next Psychology Student comes along, she’s much smarter and has lived more.”

“Well, all right, off with you then,” said the troll.

A little while after that came Sam the Last Year Psychology Student, ambling over the bridge in her rough boots, listening to an audio sample of last week’s lecture.

“Trip, trap, trip, trap,” went the bridge.

“Who is that trip and traps over my bridge?” roared the troll.

“Hmm, oh, it is only I, Sam the Last Year Psychology Student, I was just off to the library to read,” said the psychology student stressed though more confident.

“Now, I’m gonna gobble you up, feet and face,” said the troll.

“Oh, f**k, no don’t eat me, I’m still so young, I’ve yet to finish my thesis and reaped any reward from my years of study! Wait until the Psychiatrist comes along, she’s so much smarter and has lived more.”

“Well, all right, off with you then,” said the troll.

“Trip, trap, trip trap, trip, trap,” went the bridge as the psychologist strode over in her patent leather shoes.

“Who is that tramping all over my bridge!” roared the troll.

“Well, it is I, Dr. Sam the Psychologist, I was on my way to hold a lecture, what business is it of yours?” said the psychologist, bellowing as loud as the troll.

“Now I’m going to gobble you up,” roared the troll.

You could, but as you are a creature of limited intellect,
I surmise what you will select.
When I tell you that what comes next across is more interesting
This I know through basic Skinner’s conditioning.

That is what the Psychologist said and strode over the bridge.

The troll waited on and died of starvation, since it had been conditioned to always be expecting something better.

The Sam’s went on to the university, the Psychologist held her lecture, the last year psychology student finished her thesis and the first years psychology student bought a muffin in the mess hall.

Tick, tack, tuckers.
So long suckers